- 19. 10. 2016
- Ours & yours stories
Well, difficult question…
Because these lines are anonymous, I can dare to admit (not really gladly have to say) my very first motivation was the financial compensation for the donation, therefore, the money. Well, I do not like it myself as well, but it’s true. Need to say I resisted the strong urge to present myself here as the „saint“ and say that the first impulse was pure desire to help… Unfortunately not. At least not right away.
I am an university student. Living quite far from home and depending on myself. My roommate I share tiny flat with told me one day (I do not think she really wanted, but to make her life easier, because she would not need to hide stimulation medications anymore), she had decided to donate eggs. Of course, you do not get passed such an information just like that. I asked her so many things and she replied quite unwillingly, though, she is usually nothing less than very talkative person. She did not want to discuss this matter with me, she wished I did let it go. Now I understand why, this topics is really private intimate matter, mainly if you are somehow already part of it.
But there, that was that first impulse for me. I had learned much about egg donation problem since, but one of the first information I got was the one about financial compensation. And how much it actually was. Given the fact that student without a regular income and with no support from family is quite constantly without money, I started thinking about donating too. Then, when my roommate came back after egg collection and without any apparent harm, the decision to donate was a bit closer for me.
It is very hard to describe whole process of egg donation since it is very complex matter. It is emotionally complicated, even though it does not look like that right away. You must in fact be able to handle the reality your genetic information, a piece of your potential offspring, will help another woman in order to fulfil her maternal role. You must be able to separate the fact you give a piece of your potential child away from the reality, what a huge hope of a new life you bring to lives of others.
When I myself went through the process of donating, when I went through all the examinations and when I knew about this issue as much as I could and was already in the process of stimulation, I had have sorted out the whole situation for me. Yes, there was that money motivation at first, but there were so many other experiences joining this journey and resulted in very pure motives, steaming from simple desire to help. I was fully aware of the situation of woman, who can have child because of donated eggs, because of me. I could actually feel the extent of her desperation. I imagined her sad eyes when she watched other babies of those other happy mothers… I was aware of what she was going through and what I can give her! What great gift I can bring into her life. And that really comforted me and encouraged mine awareness of making right decision. And at the end, also filled me with feeling of huge satisfaction.
If I should put the decision to donate into few lines I would do that as follows. To donate eggs voluntary is certainly not a matter so trivial as sperm donation. The whole process is much more difficult, both mentally and physically. And just because of that egg donors truly deserve financial compensations. Because in light of what donors undergo in order to actually help those less fortunate and their decision was made for whatever reason, it is so much donors do and they deserves only admiration. Donors give so much to make possible bringing fulfilment, joy and happiness to lives of others and the reason why they do it is not important at all. The fact they do is simply enough!